Life is Crazy.

Life decisions. It is always difficult when my contract at work comes up for renewal. I think my job is different from a lot of people's. I don't think most people have to decide every year or 2, or 5...if they are going to jump, or stay. Furthermore, I think most people always go for the easy, safe decisions. The decisions that will least likely alter their lives. Well, why can't I seem to do that? Am I not normal???? I have a GREAT job. And, I seem to be having a difficult time making these decisions. I am waiting for that "KNOW IT IS RIGHT" feeling. ACTUALLY, I think I did have that feeling the past couple of weeks, and I went against that feeling...oops.

These are the things I know for sure. 1) I will end up where I am supposed to. 2) I really miss my friends and fam(although there ARE NO jobs in Chicago that are open that I would luv). 3) I still love moving from city to city. Nothing like exploring a new part of this world(although I am VERY tired of moving myself. It would be nice to have a soul-mate to help me explore). 4) I have some great friends here and I luv Minny.

Okay, I guess we will see. Sometimes I suppose you have to take a leap of faith. But, what if that is the WRONG decision? I think I tried to do that last week...and, it kind of backfired. In fact, I had a rough weekend. I guess you will never find the PERFECT situation. Just like you will not find the perfect man for you. Well, you can get close...but everything else in the universe must fall into place. And, you don't have control over that.

I guess I will sit here and believe in the PERFECT fit. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, nothing wrong with not settling, and nothing wrong with taking a chance. However, I have realized this past week, I have to listen to myself. This all seems soooo cryptic, doesn't it? It's not...it does make sense to me.

What else is going on...just got back from IKEA. I bought this wall unit that is THE BEST. It is pretty good quality, too. I luv that I can build my own closet inside...from shelves, to shoe racks, etc. I am trying hard to not buy stuff until I make some decisions. I hate moving big furniture.

I took a last second weekend trip to Denver last week. I had a good time, stayed downtown, hung out with some friends, etc. That was fun. I bought the book I was waiting on for a long time. I went to the bookstore that Jane and Jessica suggested. And, I am going to Chicago for Thanksgiving. I did try to get a ticket to San Fran for next weekend. I guess we will see about that. AND, yes...talk about exciting, I needed a quick road trip. So, I went to Red Wing, MN. Yes, that is right, the city where the shoes started. It was actually a charming little town on the Mississippi. Of course, I have LIVED right on the Mississippi for the past 2 years...so, I guess I shouldn't be that excited. But, it felt like a road trip. I am feeling the need for a trip out of the states. It has been 8 months. I am trying to put it off until next year. 1 trip a year out of the country....that is a good goal.

Okay, I am falling asleep at my computer. I must sleep. I want to read some of my book. I am making noooooo sense. Must sleep....


P.S. I think I want a baby. Everyone is pregs...I feel so left out.